Kermit Was Right!
Wednesday, July 18, 2007, posted by Q6 at 12:08 PM
It truly isn't easy being green.

The Set-up: My front yard used to be the stuff that gardening shows were made of. It was nothing but weeds, it had foot-deep holes in it from when I was trying to fix it up, and it looked a complete mess. I received several letters from the homeowners' association about it, and I was getting tired of the whole thing. I finally gave up and spent the money to have artificial turf installed, and it looks great. It looks great ALL THE TIME, and I don't have to do anything to it. The CC & Rs of the HOA don't say anything about artificial turf, and only about half of the people who have commented on it realize it's fake. It's great. Maybe you've seen it.

The Punch line: On July 1 I get a letter from the HOA. They thanked me for getting my front yard issues resolved, but claimed that it seemed a little dry and could use watering. Water?!? I went to all this trouble to stop these letters and now the little old ladies that inspect the neighborhood once a week (the "old-biddy-clipboard-committee" is what we used to call them) seem to think that the crunching sound my lawn makes when stepped on is dehydration and not the base-filled polystrene that it actually is. I called the general manager of the HOA, explained the situation, got my apology letter, and that was that. (She even wrote that it looks great, so I probably won't get dinged for doing it.)

The Footnote: The HOA newsletter for August arrived today. Among the general manager's announcements is this: If it is difficult for you to maintain your landscaping, you may want to consider a quality artificial turf product. Although natural plant material is preferable, several residents who prefer not to mow, weed and water in a routine manner have found this product to be a viable substitute. Please submit your choice of material to the Architectural Committee before installing. I'm not aware of other residents using the stuff, but as long as my mailbox is free of their letterhead, I don't care.

My fiancee is blonde. My yard is fake. I live in Orange County, California.
 
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